Sarah Klein

putting on my gender

when i want to entrance
when i want to present the burden i was given
like an appetizing dish to make
them behold it
there is power in there
in the mask draped
so cunningly
that eventually i let fall
just enough femininity
to let my performance
as woman
bring down the house

oh if only they knew!
i am a man too
and i can read them:
like maps
like looking into funhouse mirrors,
that their fragility
is warm or pathetic
that there are so many ways
they’ve been told to perform
that i could teach them
a thing or two
about the unpoisoned masculinity
they could still find

but so often
i must play this guide
as woman
as only softness, seduction,
only releasing the rawest of me
in my sexual confrontation

oh i am not like other girls
but would you like to know how?
can you stand it?

A Monthly Torture

Every month my body
Gears up to birth a being

I wish I could tap out
A message in mutilated Morse
Instructions to my endocrine system:

The life I create
Blooms forth from paper,
Glows in the eyes of another,
Is a process not tied to
Hormones and glands and
Parasitism

I did not ask to be
A vessel for propagation
An evolutionary end

I am too occupied mourning
The devastation of mankind
The ones I love
Being folded into soil

I do not want
Another cycle to mock me
Another gift of trauma
To spring forth from my loins

I bleed out what I need
Chained to creation
An atoning Greek

With metal teeth
I tear from within me
The curse of biology

WOMAN-COSTUME

you make me want to
take on the woman-costume fairytale
because I know
I will not be kept there
because I know you know
that's not always me
but in the moment I
catch your gaze
for a few split seconds
I feel the ideal
for the first time
because it is
the feeling of certainty
clothed in a heterosexual disguise
and despite myself
I play the role to break it
because I am more than a woman
but you make me feel like one
in a way that smothers dysphoria
in that moment
because you love me
because I love you
even when we cannot speak
for fear of breaking the spell
but my half of the magic
is the only thing i'm certain of
at this moment in time
I want to feel eternity
in your arms
and I am sick
and struggling
and conflicted
but this time
you are the rock
and I can be my whole self
and we can be
our one selves
together

Sarah Klein (any pronouns) is genderfluid disabled poet and flash fiction author whose work has been previously featured by fifth wheel press, 365tomorrows and others. They currently reside in Boston with two adorable cats.