Mx. Butch

The Business View of the Leather Body: A Leatherdyke Reader

Standing in front of another crowd, watching eyes upon me.
My thumb running across the Gilbert pin that lies above the
labrys pin (all adorning the left lapel of my over garment).

Under the collar of the jacket or coat or covering will always
lie my golden pin, with fake diamond and ruby eyes, all to
represent my place in a (originally) men’s business society.

Ones that follow me wherever I go – no matter if it’s a suit
jacket that hangs over my shoulders when I stand in front of
students or a leather jacket left unsnapped so I can instruct
a different kind of class on a completely different subject.

I remember one time when I was teaching about pledge
education to the people (the other ‘females’) who wanted
a part in my (originally mainly) men’s business fraternity.

My best suit hung over me – my $200 department store,
off the rack (off the rack) suit – the one that still would
cost me less to replace than my favor leather jacket.

As said once by a Jim Carrey character, it’s expensive
to be gay. What that character didn’t know – in it’s
extremely limited narration – is just how expensive it is
to be a leather f*g. Especially to be a leather dyke-f*g.

If I were to stay true to my business view, to my body
of business, then I would never go after my dreams of
being entirely clad in leather because buying leather
isn’t seen (by them) as a sound or ethical business decision.

The two sides of my being are constantly crashing together.
One side is all of the lighthouses of the Atlantic coast. They
desperately try to keep the ships off the rocks, while not
wanting anyone else to get lost at sea to a worse fate.

My brain, my body, my being – they are all divided
among professional pursuits and academic pursuits and
sexual needs and aspirations of community advocacy.

I want to be recognized by my peers for being myself.
For giving something more than just giving my mind
to the science that I study – the one that other scientists
try not to acknowledge as an organized form of study.

Let me keep my leather bicep cuffs on beneath my
suit jacket so I can keep the ships off the shore.