Fiona
Stuff that did and didn’t happen
I do the worm for you, there’s a larger group there but I’m doing it for you
I teach you a new way to tie your shoelaces and it doesn’t work but its cool that I know it
You sing silver springs to me in a private karaoke room and I take it like a champ
You look at me too hard while we queue up different songs written about the moon
I smash goodwill plates on the side of a dumpster and you don’t care about me anymore
There’s a change. I’m waking up earlier to talk to you.
I start making my bed, making sure all the hangers face the same way. It’s Chinese New Year
so I’m wearing red because I need all the luck I can get
Your dad teaches me how to make hot sauce
Your mom tells me I look darling in my dress
My mom tells me she’s always liked you, that you have a beautiful face
I learn how to bike with no handlebars, for you of course. Also, I’m really good at basketball
You walk around in your overalls with no undershirt
We meet at a restaurant and I get there first, nervous, start doing push ups in the bathroom
You block me on ig
You say were you lying then or are you lying now
I get a job offer in your city, they want me really badly and they fly me out Sun Country
F-150
I’m sitting in the F-150 with my boss driving between grassy highway medians. I feel like I can
tell him anything. In the F-150 we take our time. It’s so hot outside now. The sun is the brightest
I’ve ever seen it and my glasses are streaked with the cheapest sunscreen. When I worked
inside I used to get jealous of people who were outside in the middle of the day. It seemed like
they had freedom. I feel giddy with freedom now, but I have to watch how much I say around
Mark. I actually say almost nothing because I’m keeping myself on such a short leash. One of
the first things he said when we sat in the truck together on the first day during was that he had
a brother who was gay. Why’d you say that Marky? Lol. Sometimes I wanna crank up the song
on WXPN and be like isn’t this beautiful. Isn’t there lowkey beauty everywhere. It’s so bright
outside, man. I was talking to my gf about this like it’s hot but actually if you feel discomfort and
say to yourself “what if the pain was love” you can have the best day of your life. Also, dude, if
you look at something green for 10 minutes everyday it makes you happier. I have a triptych
frame next to my bed w three shades of green—sassy grass, celtic queen, and esteemed
mosses. I’m so happy to be out here man thank you for taking a chance on me here, really. I
lied on my resume but I really do love landscaping. It’s bright out here, man. It’s green. And
brighter every year. Fuck yeah.
Fiona is living and looking for work in Philadelphia.