Arthur DeHart
Mirrored
They always told me there was no water in the desert.
I jumped my cage and fled from Tennessee,
Old memories sit in that state,
Held in the mountains older than life,
And I just couldn’t bear to contribute anymore.
Life came at me fast,
Rubber on pavement,
Sky-rocketing gas prices,
A chill that never left my boots.
I followed the old artists,
The dreamers,
The motherfucking liars that told me out West was where you make it.
Misery sits in my soles,
Like the black-eye I received at the Grand Canyon,
My only gift being people who tell me I cannot cry,
I must not feel,
Because my feelings come in large tides that drown my loved ones.
It was snowing in the desert.
Everyone is a fucking liar.
Dirt
Nicotine pouch in lip,
Lips sealed,
Lips open just enough to let the air in,
Lips open enough to kiss my wanting lips,
They also have a little white pouch in them.
Right at the gum line.
Same flavor as yours,
We live a life of dirt,
Of simplicity,
Making out in between infrequent stranger showers,
Checking out books,
To day dream about what we name our children.
“Sedona.”
I whisper the name on your lips,
The name of a would be daughter.
“James, like your father.”
You whisper back,
The name of a would be son.
I cry because my father is dirt,
But a would be son is all space dust,
And hope.
One day when a home isn’t a tin box,
Full of canned fruit,
And hopeful art supplies,
I think you and I would have a nice home.
One of those “Honey, I’m home.” type of homes.
One of the “Goodmorning I made you pancakes. Get up and drink coffee,
Just the way you like it.”
Type of homes.
Even when we’re exhausted,
Money is short,
Nerves are on end.
I still think about how we started in dirt.
Mud covered faces moving together,
Forms marked with clay begging to be closer.
I’ll love you in dirt,
And when we’re dirt.
Even when we’re space dust,
Filled with hope.
Arthur DeHart is a trans man from the hills of East Tennessee. He is the writer for audio dramas such as Dreadwood Press Radio, Hiker Gothic and Chivalry. He is currently traveling the United States with his husband and cats.